If Christmas Eve plays out the way it’s expected to, I will be at two churches, for at least two hours (probably longer).
You might wonder why this is. I mean, I’m not a Christian. And even if I was, why two churches?
Well, there’s a simple answer to those questions. Answers, actually. But, they’re simple ones. I promise.
First, why am I going to church when I’m not a Christian? Well, not all churches are Christian churches. I’m a Unitarian (and/or Universalist). I go to the Unitarian Church of Edmonton damn near every Sunday. I still have some trouble explaining exactly what that means, so check out the FAQ if you’re interested.
As you may have guessed, based on everything I’ve written up to this point, there is a Christmas Eve service happening at my church. Sara and I will probably be attending.
Why the second church? Well, unlike me, Sara does consider herself a Christian. And she wants to go to a Christian church on Christmas Eve—Catholic mass, in particular. And because I’m a cool dude, I will be going along with her so long as she doesn’t fall asleep and change her mind like she did last year. 
That’s a lot of church in one day. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about that, especially on Christmas Eve which, though ostensibly a religious occasion, is, for me, about spending time with family.
But, Sara is basically a part of my family now. I mean, sure, we’re not married, but does that really matter? She is the single most important person in my life right now, so it makes sense that we start to define our own holiday traditions. If that means many, many hours spent in various churches on Christmas Eve, so be it.
Besides, I’ve never done this before and trying new things is important. Maybe I’ll find that I really enjoy it. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
“Well, not all churches are Christian churches.” How stupid do you think your readers are? Aren’t you a writer by vocation? I would like to hear your insights on the wetness of water. Or the roundness of circles.
At the risk of feeding a troll, I don’t think my readers are stupid. However, in my experience, there is a perception that church = Christian. Mosque, temple, synagogue, and other terms refer to other religions’ places of worship but, in the minds of many (in Canada, at any rate), “church” refers to a Christian church. What you see as pointing out the obvious will be seen by others as necessary clarification.
That said, this post—and that sentence in particular—is not the best thing I’ve ever written. Your criticism, despite the unconstructive way you presented it, has been noted and will be considered in the future.