Strange Sights on Whyte Avenue
Posted on July 14, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized |
I’ve seen some odd things on the corner of Gateway and Whyte this week. Here’s a brief list to get your Saturday started off right.
- Motorcycle Helmet Girl: She’s a petite young woman in a skirt and heels, yet she’s carrying a motorcycle helmet. It’s the full-meal-deal kind of helmet: full helmet, visor, everything. It’s not a little skullcap. She’s not dressed for riding a bike, and even a Vespa would be tough to ride in heels. Suddenly, a head pops out of the helmet. She’s carrying a small dog inside. Her lap dog is taking a ride in a motorcycle helmet. There are three possibilities, the way I see it.
- She’s on her way to visit her boyfriend. She’s taking the dog along for the walk. When she gets there, they’re going for a ride on his crotch-rocket.
- She’s on her way home, after being dropped off a few blocks away by the same boyfriend. He’s too inconsiderate to take her all the way home. This one is iffy, because it would mean that she was holding onto the dog while trying to keep herself from falling off the bike–an unlikely scenario.
- She just likes to carry her dog around in a motorcycle helmet. I’m not sure if this makes her insane, or just eccentric.
- The Lazy Squeegee “Kid”: First of all, he’s not a kid. He’s got to be at least forty. He might be younger, but I hope not, because that’ll mean that the streets have taken years away from him. Regardless, he seems too old to be standing on a busy corner with a dirty squeegee, trying to earn a buck. He might be aware of this fact, as I haven’t seen him approach a single windshield during my slow crawl up to the intersection. He just stands there, squeegee in hand, looking defeated. I don’t see a bucket of water anywhere.
- The Body Builder: There are a lot of thinly dressed women on the Avenue during the summer, especially when the mercury breaks 30C. I can’t say that I mind too much, but sometimes they all sort of blend together. The body builder is noticeably different. She’s walking casually, in a sports bra and spandex shorts. She looks like a jogger, or someone who has just come from a workout. This may be the case, but now she’s holding a coffee, strolling casually across the street, muscles rippling. She’s got to be at least twice my size, and probably significantly stronger, yet she still looks feminine. I imagine she’s heading to the Wee Book Inn, to exercise her mind, now that she’s done her daily run.
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I haven’t seen to many squeegee kids this year. They’re always good for a laugh. I enjoy telling them to pound it, the lazy bastards.