Friendships between gay and straight men

Posted on June 25, 2009
Filed Under Personal, Politics | 9 Comments

“Friendships between gay and straight men.” That was the subject line on a query included in last night’s HARO digest.

I subscribe to the list because I work in communications and do a bit of PR work from time to time; I keep an eye out for queries that my company might be able to respond to in order to get a bit of media coverage. This particular subject line wasn’t one of these queries.

It was, however, something that piqued my interest, so I read on.

Essentially, the reporter is doing a story about the challenges that such friendships face as opposed to others.

While I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that someone is writing such a story, I frankly don’t see what the point of it is. Why would there be different challenges in these types of friendships than in others?

I obviously can’t speak from a gay perspective, but I can say that, from my own perspective, my friendships with gay males are no different than my friendships with straight males. I mean, I don’t BS about women as much with my gay friends, simply because that’s the most obvious area where we differ.

Other than that, I can’t really think of any major differences between my friendships with gay guys and those with other straight guys.

I guess if a bunch of my straight friends were homophobic then there might be an issue. But, if I had a lot of homophobic friends, odds are that I would be a different person altogether and might not even have gay friends.

Maybe I’m way off base here, but it just seems like a strange article for a reporter to be working on. People are people and friends are friends.

I’m friends with people who are interesting and who have things in common with me. While sexual orientation certainly comes up in conversation, it’s not a deciding factor in who I choose to be friends with, nor does it have a noticeable effect on how I interact with someone, friend or otherwise.

But, maybe I’m wrong. If you’re a man who has male friends of the opposite sexual orientation, leave me a comment. Am I right or wrong in my assumptions? Is the article in question more politically relevant than I’m giving it credit for? Drop me a line and let me know what you think.

Cabin Party!

Posted on June 19, 2009
Filed Under Personal | Leave a Comment

It’s shaping up to be a good weekend. Though there is a possibility of some much needed rain, the weather seems like it will likely be warm for most of the weekend. And I’ll be out of town for a good portion of it.

A friend of mine is having a bit of a party up at her grandparents’ cabin on Saturday night, and I’ve been invited.

I’ve been up to the cabin before. It’s a nice property. Cozy. Relatively close to the water. It’s the kind of cabin I wouldn’t mind owning myself one day.

So the weekend will likely be all about beer, cards, and hanging out by the water—all in the company of good friends. It doesn’t get much better than that.

On the other hand…

Posted on June 18, 2009
Filed Under Personal | 5 Comments

I won a Vespa!

FML

Posted on June 18, 2009
Filed Under Personal | 2 Comments

My life is a bit of a mess right now. Here are the reasons:

OK, I guess that’s really about it. Maybe things aren’t so bad after all.

Biblical knowledge

Posted on May 26, 2009
Filed Under Creativity | Leave a Comment

I have a poem, which I’ve read publicly and which has been published in Raving magazine, the includes the lines: X-rays, echocardiograms, and biblical knowledge. / These things tell the truest truths.

I often worry that people assume this means that I’m referring to knowledge of the Bible, rather than “knowing her in the Biblical sense.”

In the context of the piece, I think it should be obvious that I’m referring to sex rather than religion (although, the sex in this context does have a spiritual aspect to it). But, I wonder how common the phrase “biblical knowledge” is these days.

I think it’s a bit dated. And, as fewer people in our culture have a working knowledge of the Bible and biblical references, I wonder if people below a certain age just assume that I must be talking about how I think that the Bible is one of the truest things in life (hint: I don’t).

I suppose that all writers have concerns like this; we fear that our work is being misinterpreted.

I try not to think about that too much. I try to let my words speak to people however they will. If someone gets a different meaning from a poem than what I intended, well, so be it.

Once my words are in the air, they no longer belong to me alone. I now share them with everyone who was willing to listen. The meaning, is determined by all of us.

Summer begins…

Posted on May 25, 2009
Filed Under Personal, Politics | Leave a Comment

I had a great weekend. It was a nice mix of doing “activities” and just lounging about and enjoying the first real summery weekend Edmonton has had so far this year.

Sara and I saw Terminator Salvation on the weekend with some friends. There were a few minor points that made it somewhat inconsistent with events that were hinted at in previous Terminator movies, but overall I thought it was a good movie. It was no Judgment Day, but it was a great improvement on T3.

On Saturday, I was up early because Sara’s cats were going insane, so I headed down to the City Market as soon as they opened for the morning and got a bunch of shopping done.

I picked up some fresh asparagus from Edgar Farms, some Calypso Rhubarb wine from en Sante Winery, as well as some eggs and vegetables from a few other vendors. I also bought a tomato plant that will do well in a container on the balcony, so hopefully I’ll have a crop of fresh tomatoes this summer.

While I don’t often get up as early as that on the weekend, it actually felt quite nice to have accomplished as much as I did before 10am.

The afternoon was a lazy, nappy time. In the evening, we went to Movies on the Square—a family-friendly event organized by the City of Edmonton—and saw Tale of Despereaux. It was a pretty cute movie, and it seemed to entertain the many families who came out to watch the movie in the great outdoors.

The incredibly sensual fire dancers who performed before the movie might not have been quite as family-friendly as some people would have hoped, but I certainly wasn’t complaining. ;)

While I think I got attacked by a couple of mosquitos, there is really nothing I can complain about with regard to Saturday night. It was an enjoyable experience, and I plan to check out the next Movies on the Square event at the end of July/beginning of August.

Sunday, with the exception of spending a few hours lazying about in the sun at Queen Mary Park, was occupied by church-related activities. We’re becoming “those people.”

There was, of course, the regular Sunday service, followed by a bit of spring cleaning of the church grounds, which we decided to help out with (the promise of a BBQ lunch for volunteers didn’t hurt). And, after the aforementioned lazy afternoon, we attended a forum on transgender/transsexual issues that the church was hosting.

It was a very enlightening experience, and I realized just how little I knew about transgendered people.

I mean, I had some basic ideas, and I was already of the opinion that we shouldn’t discriminate against trans people, but I didn’t realize just how much hatred and discrimination they face. And, it further opened my mind about the wide range of gender identities that exists within the human species.

Personal stories were shared, and then a panel of experts that included doctors, educators, transgendered and transsexual people, and politicians answered questions from the audience.

All in all, it was a very enlightening experience, and a good way to end one of the best weekends I’ve had in recent memory.

Gilbert Bouchard Update

Posted on May 20, 2009
Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

For those who haven’t yet heard, I am sad to report that Gilbert Bouchard’s body was found in the North Saskatchewan River on the weekend.

For more information and details regarding his memorial, please click here.

Summer-Things I’m Looking Forward To

Posted on May 7, 2009
Filed Under Personal | 2 Comments

The weather is warming up and, with the exception of the arctic front that’s supposed to invade our air early next week, I think winter is finally over. Spring is here and I’m looking forward to the summer. With that in mind, here’s a brief list of some of the things I’m looking forward to doing this summer.

5 Reasons for Moving to Whitehorse

Posted on April 29, 2009
Filed Under Personal | 4 Comments

As I mentioned a few days ago, in my post “The allure of leaving,” I’ve been thinking a lot about the possibility of moving to Whitehorse, Yukon.

Admittedly, these thoughts are mostly of the daydream variety and I haven’t seen any job opportunities for me (I have been looking, albeit not with great seriousness). If I do move to Whitehorse, it won’t be for a few years, at least.

That said, the idea has great appeal to me. I wrote earlier that my top 5 reasons for wanting to move to Whitehorse are:

  1. It’s a small community with big city amenities (for the most part).
  2. There is nature right in the backyard (especially important, there are mountains very close by; mountains are important to me for reasons I can’t fully explain).
  3. The arts community is huge and well supported by the community.
  4. The pace of life is much more relaxed. I can live the lifestyle I want in Whitehorse.
  5. It will be an adventure.

Let’s explore each of those ideas in a bit more detail, shall we?

Whitehorse is a Small Community with Big City Amenities

On the surface, this point is fairly self-explanatory: Whitehorse is a community of 20-22,000 (depending on whether you count the greater metro area or not). By most standards, even within Canada, that is a small city. Because it’s the capital of the territory, however, Whitehorse has a full range of amenities that would not normally be found in a city of that size.

The aspect of this point that is, perhaps, less self-explanatory is the question of: Why does this appeal to me?

Frankly, I feel like I’m missing out on a sense of community here in Edmonton. Yes, I’m part of the poetry community, and I’m part of the Twitter community (which translates into a real life community at least some of the time).

But, I don’t know my neighbours. If I go into a coffee shop or a bar, the staff don’t recognize me (I suppose, in the case of the bar, this is probably a good thing).

Basically, I want the small town thing where everyone knows everyone else. But, hopefully, without all of the gossip and meddling that can go along with such things.

I do not, however, want to live in a small town. I do not want to give up the conveniences of living a large(ish) city. I like having access to a department store (even if it’s just a Wal-Mart, as is the case in Whitehorse). I like having a fairly good selection of restaurants and bars. I like having venues for art and music.

Whitehorse, from what I’ve witnessed firsthand and read/heard from secondary sources, manages to combine both of these desires. It’s a small city with (almost) all of the amenities that you’d find in a city like Edmonton.

Whitehorse is Surrounded by Unspoiled Nature

I think this point is best illustrated with a photograph.

scenic_whitehorse

That’s pretty much it. A city, surrounded by mountains,  a river, and lots of trees. I can’t imagine many scenes more perfect than that.

Whitehorse Has a Very Vibrant Arts Scene

I’m an artist. As pretentious as that sounds, I do consider myself to be an artist who works in the form of poetry (and, on occasion, other written forms). And, like most people, I am also a fan of the arts.

It’s important that I live in a community where there is an active and vibrant arts scene. Not only do I want a city where I can showcase my own art—via poetry readings, for example—I also want a city where I can take in a lot of art. Whitehorse is great for that.

There is a very active local music scene in Whitehorse. Local bands run the gamut from jazz to punk to blues to hip hop and everything in between. Live shows are frequent and, in the past few years, the city has played host to big name bands like the White Stripes and the Weakerthans.

Sure, if I move to Whitehorse, I won’t have the opportunity to see as many big name acts as I would in Edmonton. But, as I’ve already indicated, big bands do sometimes include Whitehorse as a tour stop. And, frankly, I don’t go to very many big shows anyway. I don’t think I’ll be missing much by being limited to the smaller, more local shows that tend to be the norm in Whitehorse.

The visual arts are also big in Whitehorse (and Yukon as a whole). The focus, again, is on local artists. But, when it comes to visual art, I’ve always been more interested in what’s being created in the place I live than with what’s being created elsewhere. That’s not to say that I’m not interested in what artists are doing in other cities or other countries. I am. I’m just more interested in what’s happening in my own community.

Literary arts and storytelling get a lot of support in Whitehorse, too. Good examples of this include the Whitehorse Poetry Festival and the Yukon International Storytelling Festival. There will definitely be a place for me in the Yukon literary/poetry scene.

Life in Whitehorse Moves at a More Relaxed Pace

I admit that, on this point, I may be wrong. But, from everything I have read/heard, life in the Yukon is a bit more relaxed. Whitehorse, while surely the most “bustling” place in the territory, is no exception.

My limited experience in the city seems to confirm this. However, my time in Whitehorse was very brief, so I likely didn’t get a very accurate picture of the city.

That said, I think it’s true—life in Whitehorse is a bit more relaxed than life in Edmonton.

This has to do with the general attitude of Yukoners, but also with the fact that the city is surrounded by mountains on one side and a river on the other. Something about living in the mountains just seems to make people more laidback.

Every mountain city I’ve ever visited has a laidback feel to it, and Whitehorse is no exception.

In recent years, I’ve felt a strong desire to simplify my life. I want to slow down. I want to do more with less. I want to live a simpler lifestyle.

Whitehorse, I think, is a place where I could live the lifestyle that I want to live.

Moving to Whitehorse Will be an Adventure

I admit, this point is a bit silly. Adventure? Really?

Yes, really.

As trite and cliche as it may sound, moving to Whitehorse would be an adventure.

I’d be moving away from the city that I have known and loved for my entire life. I’d be moving away from my family and friends. I’d be going to a place that is, in many ways, foreign to what I’ve experienced in life so far.

Moving across the country is a big deal. And, make no mistake, Whitehorse is “across the country” from Edmonton. Winnipeg is closer to Edmonton than Whitehorse is.

It doesn’t seem that far, because we tend to think of Canada in east-west terms. And, if Whitehorse was on the same parallel as Edmonton, it probably would be closer than Winnipeg. But it isn’t on the same parallel. It’s much farther north. This adds to the distance substantially.

While I would definitely get used to living in Whitehorse, the initial move would be quite an adventure. Moving across a vast distance. Settling into a new community. Making a new home in a new city. All of these things excite me.

While it’s definitely not the main reason that I’d move to Whitehorse, the fact that it would be an adventure certainly doesn’t deter me.

EDMONTON Missing Person Report - Gilbert Bouchard

Posted on April 24, 2009
Filed Under Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Local writer and art critic Gilbert Bouchard has gone missing. Click here for more information.

keep looking »