A 5-Year-Old Talks About Corporate Logos

By Adam Snider | Published: February 1, 2012

This is pretty great. I like the kid’s comments about the logos she doesn’t recognize, such as: “Babies…are small.”

On the other hand, I find it mildly concerning how many of the logos a 5-year-old does recognize. I was particularly surprised that she recognized the BP logo as being “gas.”

Is the BP logo plastered all over gas stations in the States (where I’m assuming the child in the video lives)? I can’t think of another reason why a 5-year-old would recognized the BP logo, unless that’s where her other grandpa works.

(Via Kottke.)

Posted in Media | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Pornographic Billboards (SFW)

By Adam Snider | Published: January 25, 2012

I walked out of the office on Monday morning, to do my usual mail run, and there she was, in all-caps Helvetica Bold: SASHA GREY.

Sasha Grey, porn star, looked down at me with sultry eyes from a twenty-foot tall billboard across the street from my office.

Sasha Grey Billboard

Sasha is watching.

Apparently, Ms. Grey is going to be at the Treasury Vodka Bar & Eatery on Friday, February 10th. She’ll be doing…something. Signing autographs? Is she also a DJ? (As a side note, they’re calling this the Valentine’s Day Long Weekend; uh, what? Since when is Valentine’s Day an official holiday?)

I understand the thinking behind this event. They’re bringing in a famous porn star who is a borderline mainstream celebrity after staring in Steven Soderbergh’s 2009 drama The Girlfriend Experience. It’s titillating because she’s a porn star, but she’s just mainstream enough that you don’t have to be embarrassed to tell your friends that you’ve got tickets to the Sasha Grey show on the weekend.

I am sure that Ms. Grey is very good at what she does, but I don’t get the appeal of paying $30 to see her live.

I mean, it’s not like you’re going to see a live sex show. You’re going to see a waif-thin twenty-something hanging around and acting aloof. Isn’t that just a regular night at the Treasury?

As for that billboard, my first thought was: the pornification of everyday life is now complete. But, upon reflection, the only thing truly scandalous about the billboard is that it’s a very prominent display of a porn star’s name and likeness.

Ms. Grey is not nude on the billboard. She is not posed in a particularly sexualized way (though, her eyes are basically fucking the entire street upon which they look). The billboards for the Ranch Roadhouse are far more sexualized and, dare I say, pornographic, than the one featuring Ms. Grey.

I’m not sure what it says about our culture when an image of a porn star is less pornographic than the more run-of-the-mill ads with which it is competing for attention. It says something, to be sure, but I’m just not sure what it is.

What do you think? Is it weird that this ad is less pornographic (but, in some ways, more titillating) than many of the advertising images that we’re exposed to on a daily basis?

Do you think it’s cool that Sasha Grey will be, um, preforming (?) at the Treasury? Will you be buying tickets?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Posted in Armchair Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unwanted Sexual Advances

By Adam Snider | Published: January 23, 2012

I take the bus to work everyday during the fall and winter months. Depending on my work schedule, I take the bus at different times.

Usually, I’m on the bus by around 8:10am. Occasionally, however, I am on the bus a bit later than that.

On the later bus, there is a young man of Asian decent. He rides the bus for only one or two stops after I get on. And he creeps me out the entire time.

The guy always stares at me. I’ve always thought it was a bit weird, and kind of creepy, but mostly thought nothing of it. People sit on the bus and people watch. Maybe he finds me attractive, I thought. No big deal.

Last Wednesday, however, things got weird.

He did his usual staring at me. And then he got up from where he was sitting (right beside me!) and went to stand by the back door (right in front of me!). He kept looking at me. Then he started licking his lips.

I still didn’t think much of this—the dry winter air often causes people to lick their lips in an effort to restore moisture to them—until he started grabbing his crotch. And then he tried to make eye contact to make sure that I was seeing him do what he was doing.

This went on for probably only 15 to 30 seconds. We arrived at his stop and he exited the bus. Then he stared at me through the doors and licked his lips. He began walking toward his destination. As the bus began moving again, he made a point of staring and licking his lips at me one last time as the bus passed by him.

While you’re seeing this post nearly a week after the incident, I’m writing it just a few hours after it happened. I still don’t know how to react to what happened.

I feel gross and violated.

Having people hit on me and turning them down because I am not attracted to them (and getting married) is one thing. Having them sexually harass me is quite another. Hell, maybe this goes beyond harassment. Even though he didn’t actually touch me, it kind of feels like I was assaulted.

I will almost certainly be on the same bus as this guy again in the future. If he does this again, what do I do?

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Meatless Sandwiches

By Adam Snider | Published: January 20, 2012

As a part of my on-going quest to eat less meat, I have been trying to find some options for meatless sandwiches beyond PB&J.

I’ve made a few vegetable sandwiches, but they rarely turn out well. I did make a good one last week: heavy on the sprouts, which added nice flavour and are dry enough that the sandwich doesn’t get soggy between the time I make it and the time I eat it (but not so dry that the sandwich is unbearable to eat). But, excepting that sandwich I don’t really know what to do to make a tasty sandwich that doesn’t have meat on it.

Sure, there is the classic grilled cheese, but that’s not really something you can bring to work. And there are various nut-butter sandwiches, but these can get tiresome. Egg salad is about the only other meatless sandwich I can think of without getting into the fake meats that you find in the vegetarian section of grocery stores.

I have had a few ideas for other options: smoked tofu sandwich (I made this once and it was OK, but I think I cut the tofu too thick, so the texture of the tofu sort of overwhelmed everything else); tempeh sandwich (this is apparently a thing).

Earlier this week, I made a sandwich based on a recipe in Everyday Flexitarian: Recipes for Vegetarians & Meat Lovers Alike. I tweaked the recipe a bit, based on what I had on hand, and it turned out pretty good. It is yet another nut-butter sandwich, but the flavours combine for something quite new and unique. The recipe, as I modified it, is below.

Apple butter, miso, and peanut butter sandwiches

Yield: 2 sandwiches

  • 1/4 cup apple butter
  • 1 tsp genmai miso
  • Peanut butter to taste (approx. 2 tbsp)
  • 4 slices of whole wheat bread

Mix apple butter and miso together in a small bowl, until well blended. Spread the mixture onto two pieces of bread. Spread peanut butter on the remaining two pieces of bread. And, finally, in case you were unsure how to make a sandwich: put one piece of bread with the apple butter mixture and one piece of bread with the peanut butter together. Cut in half and enjoy.

I think this will probably become a new lunchtime staple for me, but I am still open to other options for vegetarian sandwiches.

Posted in Personal, Simple Living | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

To Live and Die in Edmonton

By Adam Snider | Published: January 18, 2012

I’m getting antsy. I’m getting an urge to move.

I often get the urge to move away from Edmonton. I’ve never acted upon it, obviously, but it hits me from time to time.

Maybe it’s the recent cold snap. Maybe I just want to be somewhere that isn’t here, right now. But, then, I find myself contemplating the Yukon again. Surely, the cold isn’t the issue.

Now is not the right time to move.

Sara and I are getting married in the summer. We’re contemplating buying a new house. We’ve laid down roots in Edmonton. Mine may be mostly by chance of being born here, but they run deep. And Sara has spent the past 4 and a half years establishing herself in a new city.

Now is not the right time to move.

But, yes, I want to move away. Part of it, I think, is because we’re getting married.

Both of my parents are from away. They moved out here for different (though very similar) reasons, built a life, got married, and are now working toward a hopefully relaxed retirement and old age. The thing that is key, for me, is that they moved far away from home and established a new life.

I feel like I should do the same. Sara and I are getting married and, because of my parents’ life story, I feel like the thing to do is to move far away and build a new life as a married couple.

We’ve talked about this, Sara and I, and for all kinds of practical reasons, now is not the right time to move. But I can’t help but think that if it isn’t now, it’ll never happen.

I’m going to die in this city. I’m not sure I’m ready to accept that yet, but it’s probably the truth. I was born here, I was raised here, I will make a life here, and I will die here.

Now is not the right time to move and I am going to die in this city.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ice, Ice, Baby

By Adam Snider | Published: January 16, 2012

Winter has finally reared her ugly head. Seemingly overnight, we’ve gone from springlike temperatures (in the middle of January!) to the Long John Index being nearly maxed out.

Somehow, though, it doesn’t seem so bad.

It’s brutally cold, sure, but I’m not finding it too bad. Even as I was waiting for the bus this morning, the cold wasn’t bothering me too much.

As long as you dress properly and don’t have to walk too far to get where you’re going, it really is OK. And it’s kind of nice to finally have some snow (even if shovelling it sucks).

On the negative side of things, colder weather means more people jam-packed into the buses (and in puffier jackets). I do not like being on overstuffed buses. I especially don’t like it when I end up sitting next to a guy who smells like boiled cabbage and body odour. But, at least I had a seat. Usually, at this time of year, the bus is standing room only by the time it arrives at my stop.

Small blessings. Without small blessings, we would not survive these Edmonton winters.

Posted in Edmonton | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Sick day

By Adam Snider | Published: January 13, 2012

I’m only in the second week of my new, three-times-weekly publishing plan and I’ve already missed a day. To be fair, I was out sick on Wednesday.

I didn’t go to work. I didn’t really do anything. I slept most of the day.

I’m back in business, though. I’m hoping to put together my review of all three Lord of the Rings movies next week. I’m not sure it’ll be a proper review so much as a collection of the smart-assed comments that Allan and I made while watching the movies, but we’ll see.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Pimp My Uno

By Adam Snider | Published: January 9, 2012

Since Christmas, Sara and I have developed an unofficial habit of playing board games and/or card games on Sunday evenings. Cribbage is becoming our go-to game, but we’re also fond of Catan for Two. Recently, we played Uno.

I’m sure you’ve played Uno. Most people have played it as kids and will remember it as essentially a branded version of Crazy Eights, with a couple of twists thrown in in the form of the “action cards.” Like most people, you’ve probably also played it with a bunch of house rules that make it a more exciting game.

Last night, Sara and I played a game mostly according to the official rules, but added a few house rules (mostly for the “pick up two” cards, which we made stackable). This got me thinking about what other house rules people might have.

What are your personal house rules for Uno? Did your family play by any unusual rules? Have you invented new rules of your own? Please share your Uno house rules in the comments. And, in case you’re not sure if the rules you learned growing up were official or not, the official rules can be found on the Uno Wikipedia page.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Work It: Worst TV Show of 2012

By Adam Snider | Published: January 6, 2012

Yes, we’re only a few days into the week, but I’m certain that Work It, the awful TV show that aired on Tuesday night is the worst show of 2012. It may be the worst show in the history of television.

I’m not the only one who thinks so. The Onion AV Club hates it (but is fascinated by it), and IGN gave it the first zero they’ve given to any media since some random video game in 1998:

Apparently if you’ve ever written for the hit NBC series Friends, like Work It creators Andrew Reich and Ted Cohen, you’re now an untouchable monster who can throw whatever pigs*** you want up on the screen. I joked with some folks early on, after initially watching the pilot for ABC’s abysmal sitcom Work It last summer, that this show was on the air because someone high up on the TV food chain either won a bet against someone who loves television or lost a bet against someone who hates it. Now, after re-watching the pilot again (I have my own masochistic issues, btw) I can firmly say, without fear of contradiction, that this series has damning apocalyptic undertones.

The comments on the AV Club’s article about the pilot episode are kind of great, because they talk about how the show might actually be funny (although, probably still offensive) if only it were treated with the slightest bit of creativity. For example:

I could see this working well as a comedy of misunderstandings, wherein the two rad-dude-stars think they’ve got everyone fooled into believing they’re women; however, everyone is actually operating under the belief that they’re just two nice transgendered folks that were hired in response to a recent discrimination lawsuit.

That is followed up by this comment:

Yeah, they could cut to the HR team huddled in a conference room, sweating out how to delicately, respectfully handle the situation without ever letting on… no matter how difficult it gets.  With a lawyer on the phone barking out orders on how to avoid a lawsuit at all costs.  Rife with possibilities.

One of the female coworkers takes issue with the guys using the women’s bathroom. HR panics, eventually decides to makes the bathrooms on one floor unisex. The guys don’t take the hint and continue to use the ladies’ room.

It’s Take Your Child to Work day, and everyone is struggling with how to tell their children that the two men in dresses prefer to be addressed as women. One of the younger children innocently asks one of the guys why he’s wearing makeup, and the guy shakes his head and says, “Wow, you can fool a whole office of adults, but you just can’t put one over on these kids!” Meanwhile, the kid’s parent is mortified.

A gay stereotype comes to work at the office–either a flaming man or a really butch woman; they don’t even have to actually be gay–and the guys make lots of snide comments about it. The coworkers are completely perplexed by their behavior.

So many possibilities!

I still can’t believe that I watched Work It from beginning to end. It was truly awful. I can’t believe that someone actually paid to produce a pilot, let alone that a network actually chose to air it. But once it was on my TV it was like the proverbial train wreck: I just couldn’t look away.

Do not watch this show. It is terrible. And it probably won’t air next week. If it isn’t cancelled immediately, I will be very surprised.

On the other hand, if it isn’t cancelled immediately I might be intrigued enough—in a morbid way—to watch another episode.

Posted in Media | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Resolutions

By Adam Snider | Published: January 4, 2012

I’ve been thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Like many people, I make them every year.

Like most people, I abandon them sometime in early to mid-February.

Should we abandon the idea of New Year’s resolutions? Is the idea of trying to start new habits around a relatively arbitrary date worthwhile or does it feel forced and make us less likely to succeed? Maybe we should make resolutions for change in the middle of March. Perhaps we simply need to change our thinking about New Year’s resolutions.

Regardless of what I might end up calling them or how I might end up thinking of them, I don’t have any resolutions yet for 2012.

I did think of one thing the other day, but I hope to make it a part of my thinking overall, rather than a goal to achieve (because you can’t achieve something that is on-going, right?), which is to not think negatively about other people’s marriages. No: “They won’t last a year.” No: “I’m not surprised they’re getting divorced.” None of that.

As I prepare to begin a marriage of my own, I’ve decided that being cynical toward the marriages of other people is not a good idea. I don’t actually believe in karma but, well, it feels like bad karma. And so I’m going to try not to do it.

Other than that, though, 2012 is resolution-free so far.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , | Leave a comment